Healthy Relationship
- Both are feeling good about self, whether in a relationship or not.
- Shared interests, shared power and decision making, shared values.
- Both know about each other's dreams and expectations.
- Normal ups and downs, lots more ups than downs.
- Can disagree and solve problems without verbal or physical abuse.
- Both can talk, negotiate and compromise.
- Conflict is a healthy component in the relationship.
- Have similar friends and separate friends.
- Relationship is one part of a well-rounded life of friends, family, school, sports, hobbies, spiritual life.
- Both enjoy the company of other people.
- Both support individual interests and friendships of their boyfriend/girlfriend.
Unhealthy Relationship
- One or both are not enjoying the relationship much - lots of drama or boredom, not much fun.
- Not many shared interests or values, or differ on important interests and values.
- Can disagree and solve problems fairly, but there are a lot of disagreements and problems.
- One partner sees relationship as much more important than the other one does.
- One is getting "too serious" or too dependent.
- One feels nervous around your boyfriend/girlfriend.
- One criticises partner, or humiliates in front of other people.
- One partner has violated trust or hurt the other in a way that is hard to repair.
- Have just grown apart - not very interested in each other any more.
- Feel sadness, hurt, anger, and failure about breaking up, but open to the possibility of new relationships.
Abusive Relationship
- One has decreasing self-esteem since entering this relationship.
- The interests, values, desires of one person dominate the relationship.
- One is using name-calling, threats, intimidation, insults, manipulation, physical or sexual abuse to force the other one to do things.
- One or both are becoming more secretive and isolated from family, friends, and social activities.
- One feels entitled to be in control, decide how things will be, get his or her own way all the time, wants the other to agree and comply.
- One person feels more afraid, is hurt physically or emotionally and adjusts behavior to accommodate the other.
- One is afraid to break-up, the other "won't let" partner leave.
- One say that he/she will kill or hurt himself/herself if you break up with them.