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Healthy Relationship
Both are feeling good about self, whether in a relationship or not.
Shared interests, shared power and decision making, shared values.
Both know about each other's dreams and expectations.
Normal ups and downs, lots more ups than downs.
Can disagree and solve problems without verbal or physical abuse.
Both can talk, negotiate and compromise.
Conflict is a healthy component in the relationship.
Have similar friends and separate friends.
Relationship is one part of a well-rounded life of friends, family, school, sports, hobbies, spiritual life.
Both enjoy the company of other people.
Both support individual interests and friendships of their boyfriend/girlfriend.
Unhealthy Relationship
One or both are not enjoying the relationship much - lots of drama or boredom, not much fun.
Not many shared interests or values, or differ on important interests and values.
Can disagree and solve problems fairly, but there are a lot of disagreements and problems.
One partner sees relationship as much more important than the other one does.
One is getting "too serious" or too dependent.
One feels nervous around your boyfriend/girlfriend.
One criticises partner, or humiliates in front of other people.
One partner has violated trust or hurt the other in a way that is hard to repair.
Have just grown apart - not very interested in each other any more.
Feel sadness, hurt, anger, and failure about breaking up, but open to the possibility of new relationships.
Abusive Relationship
One has decreasing self-esteem since entering this relationship.
The interests, values, desires of one person dominate the relationship.
One is using name-calling, threats, intimidation, insults, manipulation, physical or sexual abuse to force the other one to do things.
One or both are becoming more secretive and isolated from family, friends, and social activities.
One feels entitled to be in control, decide how things will be, get his or her own way all the time, wants the other to agree and comply.
One person feels more afraid, is hurt physically or emotionally and adjusts behavior to accommodate the other.
One is afraid to break-up, the other "won't let" partner leave.
One say that he/she will kill or hurt himself/herself if you break up with them.

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Relationship Checklist

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Relationship Checklist

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